Shock News at Liverpool!

In a startling revelation, Liverpool manager Graham Frith today revealed that the club will be breaking with tradition this season, and will be promoting youths. The news was broken at a press conference today at the Anfield stadium, where the three players were
presented to the awaiting press posse. Leiva_Lucas, S_Leto and Miki_Roque, all promising midfielders, confidently responded to press questions whilst committing themselves to prove the doubters wrong
and perform for the merseyside club. Manager Frith, when questioned about this change of direction, pointed out that, unusually in the last couple of season, he had won nothing, and with a dearth of talent in the midfield this year, he felt that it was time to inject
the club with some new talent. "Our aim is survival, to bring on some new lads, and cause a few upsets on the way", he said. It will be an interesting ride.

Richie Hope in shock York City departure

York City today stunned reporters by announcing a transfer and stunned the reporters even more by announcing that Richie Hope was departing the club along with Richard Cooper. Rumours of a training ground bust up were denied but I_Cassilas spoke out against this claiming that Hope and Cooper were lovers and had tried to recruit other players into their relationship.

"It all came to a head when they tried to rope me in," commented York's keeper. "I told them I wasn't having it and spoke to the boss about what was going on. Apparantley they had been tapping up C_Beardsley as well"

The York manager finally relented and announced that there had been "stuff going on" between Cooper and Hope and said that at their new club in Amsterdam their actions would be, "more accetped and the norm".

"We've managed to save Beardsley," crowed the York manager. "He's here for next year and he's not traumatised by what has happened."

York managed to recruit a couple of defenders and an ageing midfielder from the Euro Wing Runners up as they attempted to bolster their squad. "When we knew that Hope and Cooper had to leave it left us very short of cover," reflected the York manager. "Still, we've got an old head to play in the middle of the park to pass the ball around and we've got a couple of defenders in who have a promising future. Overall I think our squad is stronger for next season"

York begin their Premier League survival campaign at home to Bradford City in early February.

Scrap Heap Challenge

This week, Newcastle condemned 5 of its older generation to the scrap heap. Boss Jim Leslie commented, "There is no place in the squad for players like those lads. They are too old and absolutely useless. I don't think either of them had a single appearance between them last season, and they certainly wouldn't this season. I can't justify them getting their wages paid. I would rather give a wage increase to Janet the "tea lady" than pay those inbreds another penny. She was invaluable to the lads on our pre season tour, the lads were very impressed with what she gave them, as was I". Newcastle are hoping that they can improve vastly this season on last seasons lowly position and mount a challenge for Division 3. If they start off with a flyer, Janet is sure to be a very busy "tea lady".

RANGERS WELCOME 2 NEW SIGNINGS

Glasgow Rangers have confirmed the signings of G_Curci and P_McClure for season 14. Curci will be used as back-up for the ageing S_klos with P_McClure partnering Statibuta in a very young talented strike force. Manager Paul Tyler is said to be delighted at the signings but stressed he is still in need of one more signing.

Storm in a Tea Cup

Newcastle United have this week banished Raul Albiol to the reserves after the club Tea Lady Janet, claimed he made untoward advances to her assistants Jenny and Katherine. It is understood, he was trying to undermine club procedure, defender Warren Barton commented, "One minute he was here, the next he was gone. I think he insinuated something about them washing his car after they had finished with the dishes or something. Janet didn't take too kindly to Albo not asking her permission first. She complained to the gaffer and he went into a blind rage. He even got his assistant to tell Albo to 'f*ck off and train with the kiddies' while he consoled the ladies. I think he appealed to their kinder nature, when he asked Janet and her assistants to bake some treats for the lads after our winning start to the campaign."

A club insider has revealed that Katherine has taken a shine to youngster Charles N'Zogbia. They revealed he would be receiving a very special treat from her for his man of the match performance at the weekend. Nobody knows quite what this special treat may be, not even Barton when asked about it. "Its all news to me. I actually thought she liked one of the other lads. She seems to give him extra portions. I'm not going to spill the beans on who that is though. Charlie may get jealous. As for a special treat, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough".

When we approched Albiol about his behaviour, he answered with only a 'no comment'. On the way out, one of the clubs youths commented, "Albo should know the rules by now. Thankfully though, his relegation to us reserves, may mean promotion for one of us lads to the big time. I just hope its going to be me".

HENRY AND BAGGIO SIGN FOR ARGYLE!!

French international Theiry Henry has once again signed for South Devon club Plymouth Argyle. Henry first signed for Plymouth when they were in div2 at the start of season 13 but was sold on to Milan giants Inter in a deal to reduce the age of the sqd, it was thought Milan was where Theiry wished to end his playing career, but manager Steve Arscott managed to persuade the 34yr old to come bk to england and fight it out to make Plymouth a prem club.

Also joining Argyle in the deal was top rated midfielder J_Gray but he will only be staying in Devon for 2 weeks before he joins div1 rivals Charlton

Another massive name to be joining Arscott in his mission to take Plymouth to the premier league is midfield legend R_Baggio, the Italian who played under Arscott at Arsenal has rejoined his old gaffer 3 seasons after he left. The deal is believed to be helping the new Arsenal manger with a aging sqd and at 31 Baggio only offers a short term solution in Argyles midfield.

FERGUSON THE BUTT OF ALL JOKES!!

Ranger’s new boy B_Fergusson has been the laughing stock of Glasgow all week after his comical own goal against spurs last Saturday. Fergusson has been seen training in the legendry ‘I’VE HAD A SHITTER’ T-shirt this week. Manager Paul Tyler has threatened to tattoo the comment on his forehead should a repeat performance occur in the coming weeks!!

Thiller at the Villa ?

With Newcastle winning the Tyne-Wear derby, on Wearside, the players returned to Newcastle as heroes. Fans were stood outside St James' Park as the coach arrived back, chanting players names. Many of the fans were sympathetic with Les Ferdinand who picked up a red card in the dying stages of the game. One was heard to say, "What's wrong with kicking a mackem? He should have been allowed to do it more, instead of being sent off." Manager Jim Leslie was delighted with the result, "A victory was what we went for and we got it. I think we avenged our defeat to them in our last meeting, and hopefully when they come to St James' later in the season, we can beat them by more than just the one. The only downside is that Sir Les got sent off towards the end of the game, when the referee should have applied some common sense and joined in with kicking the mackem. He will be a miss for next weekends crunch game against Aston Villa. Although we will have our fans behind us, we will hope that they can help us secure the 3 points by creating an electric atmosphere."

Les Ferdinand looked visibly upset as he was last off the bus. "Its disappointing that I won't be able to play in next weeks game to try and maintain our unbeaten start to the season. Villa are also flying high, and it will be a tough game. Although, whoever replaces me upfront, I'm sure will do an admirable job. I can't beleive I got sent off for kicking a talentless player like D_Frio. I hope the club are going to appeal this diabolical decision. Its horrendous. The only good side of this, is that I'll be able to cheer the lads on, with Janet, and her lovely assistants, Katherine and Jenny, the tea ladies. They are the reason that we are performing so well this season. I'm sure after spending the afternoon with them, I'll score on my return to the first team."

Ognjen Koroman was delighted with the winner, and had already started celebrating on the bus with a few drinks. "The boss has given us the day off tomorrow after such an impressive victory. Me and the rest of the lads are off into town, so I will be seeing whether I can keep up with my red hot scoring streak." With that, Koroman and his team mates hit the bars in Newcastle, to celebrate a victory over their fiercest rivals. They will be hoping their hangover clears by the time for Sundays big game with Villa

No Hope For City Qualification ?

York City manager Richard Newbould today responded following the draw for the Inter-Wing Cup which saw York City placed in Group 7 alongside the like of Okayama, Santos and Birmingham City.

"It's a tough draw," reflected the York manager, "but there's always hope for us. I think we might be able to sneak through from that group and once in the knock-out rounds there will be few teams who will want to play us."

It will certainly be a case of new encounters for York City, who have never played Lev Tallinn, Santos FC or Okayama FC while York have played Birmingham and Sturm Graz a total of 3 times with all the matches failing to produce a single goal.

"With Beardsley up front next season York finally have some fire-power that they have been missing" commented a pundit recently. "If their midfield can provide them with chances, then this team have some goals in them."

The York manager refused to comment on speculation regarding the future of Richie Hope and hinted that Cooper might be soon about to depart the North Yorkshire club describing Cooper as "old".

Changes at Birmingham City

Birmingham City fans were divided over the recent high-profile trading of their talented product of the youth system, S_Kelly. His sale brings in two experienced defenders to boost squad size as well as the exciting prospect of D_Cisse coming to Birmingham. However, some pundits are a little
concerned about the increasing age of the Brum squad, with all 3 of the players coming in being over 30 years of age. When questioned, manager Chris
Knight responded "Kelly was always trade-bait for a good striker, and that's what we've brought in. Carroll goes out on loan to get some valuable experience at PSV, whilst DeRidder will benefit immensely working alongside Cisse. The move improves the cutting edge at Birmingham and we have 2 excellent long-term prospects in Carroll and DeRidder. Strikers are
expensive, and we are now sorted in that area for many years to come. The coaching staff tell me we have some good lads coming through the youth
system for next year whether we are in the Prem [smiles] or Div One. Squad size was also a concern, which is primarily why we didn't go with Plymouth's
offer."

The Future Looks Bright At Spurs

Spurs Manager Ian THompson announces how he is looking foward to the next few seasons after picking up no less than four young starlets including two 16 year olds one at 20 and one at 22 he said "the young players I have brought in fit in every part of my team
Gordon_Banks in a few more seasons probably playing in reserves or may be out on loan
will be ready to take the number one spot in the nets when McAlpine sadly retires, Gordon only 16 is already pushing for the number one shirt so I'm sure we will see him in the nets sooner rather than later.
Irwin 22 is a fantastic prospect at left back just like his dad I've had him a while now playing in the reserve's and thought it time to bring him into the first team I will
expect him to gain his call up to the full Irish squad this coming season this boy is a solid old fashioned defender, S_Skunk well what can I say about this boy, his speed is phenomenal the way he cuts through
the grass and leaves everybody in his wake, he looks a bit weedy but dont be fooled he is as strong as an ox and should chip in with a fair few goals another one who will be getting first team football
G_Bruna again only 16yr old and already got an eye for goals the boy is from Argentina so you can expect to see some dazzling footwork from him but he's one for the future again with Rosenberg getting on a bit".
So for the fans they can start to get very excited for Thomo's aim is to get into the prem and to bring in some trophies along the way

RANGERS FOR PROMOTION??

Division 2 new boys Glasgow Rangers will be trying for back to back promotions in season 14. Rangers manager Paul Tyler had this to say ‘winning division 3 last season was a great achievement but division 2 will be a complete new challenge, there are some quality teams in this league and if we’re pushing for the top 2 places come end of season I’ll be happy’.

TYLER GLAD TO GET 3 POINTS

Glasgow Rangers manager Paul Tyler is delighted to start the season off with 3 points away at Norwich. Statibuta’s double gave Rangers a 2-1 win in a very close game. Rangers next league game is at home to Promotion rivals Spurs.

TYLER CHALLENGES STATIBUTA

Glasgow Rangers manager Paul Tyler has challenged star FW G_Statibuta to score 20+ goals this season. Statibuta started the campaign with 2 goals in Saturdays 2-1 defeat of Norwich. Tyler had this to say ‘ I was a little disappointed in Statibuta last season only scoring 14 in 22 games, so we have had a little bet this season, 2o goals is his target’.

DIVISION 1 HOTS UP!!

Div one is shaping up to be the most competitive division in pbemff history, with 8 big managers with top sqds all feeling the can take a top 2 place and play in the big league.

Plymouth, Charlton, Birmingham, Portsmouth and Ipswich appear to be the front runners but Aberdeen, Wolves and Palace also posses quality mangers who are more than capable of pulling results out of the bag when the odds are against them

tension has been building between a few of the mangers in recent weeks and it looks like a few egos will take dents come the end of the season, looking at the sqds newly promoted Plymouth and last seasons struggler's Birmingham look to be favorites for the 2 spaces but its not gonna be clear cut by any means

transfers have been flying in in the week leading up to the season as teams try to strengthen the sqds and increase there chances of promotion

NO LUCK = NO POINTS

Glasgow Rangers manager Paul Tyler was left amazed at the way Saturdays home gave against Spurs turned out. Not only did they have Ambrosio sent off for a very soft 2 yellows, new signing Fergusson scored an own goal on his home debut. Tyler will be hoping for a little more luck against Etoile Sportive Du Sahel in the IW cup group stages this Sunday.

Brown inspiring a new direction

Since Bolton Manager Paul Brown took over at the helm at the beginning of the month, he has brought the changes in his endeavour to bring fresh young talent into the squad and this week as been no exception. At least 5 players have made way for 4 new members and there is the possibility of a further 3 signs before his team host Monterrey FC in the IW Cup second game. Brown was quoted as saying, "With 4 of our top players looking to retire at the end of the season and with the oldest squad in the league we seriously had to look at bring the changes. We're looking at building a team for the future, although our short term goal is Division 2 safety we are looking at bring youth to ensure we actually have a team in the seasons to come. I'm extremely excited about recent signings Brauro, Gomis and Babel and I believe they can inspire the fans to get behind the team and ensure the Reebok is a fortress once again. A large step in the right direction!"